My friend has proposed and is celebrating his engagement to his internet found partner next week! We are very pleased for him and looking forwaed to the next step.
On 04.12.11, In Relationships, By Derek
On 08.20.10, In Relationships, By Derek
Pleased to see that two of my friends have found partners on the internet. By being honest they have attracted interested parties. Mature people have difficulty going back to the meet and greet method that young unmarrieds use. The ‘net is a great way to find that elusive person. The same principles apply as in any relationship. Be honest, look for shared interests and values, be prepared to compromise.
On 07.09.10, In Relationships, By Derek
I am often asked how young can you be to find your soul mate? If you check the statistics for early marriages (before 21 years) they have a very high failure rate. It is possible to find the right partner but until you have settled into your own lifestyle and your personality traits are stable it is exceedingly hard to find anyone to match you. Of course you should have relationships, that is the normal development process. But do not expect to find the one and only until the mid twenties or later. Read my book for more information and questionaires.
On 07.07.10, In Relationships, By Derek
Three of my acquaintances have made successful relationships from people they met on the internet. The first consideration being that they were all either widows or divorced. Second that they were all mature aged people over 50. This is both a good and possibly bad thing in that their habits and lifestyle are fairly well constant. If they can be considerate and compromise then the pairing could be positive for both. If they are rigid and insist on having their own way things could become difficult. However their children are grown to adulthood and their greatest need is for companionship and support. So far they all seem to be doing well. Naturally they have all read my book “How To Choose Your Life Partner”. If you want a happy relationship go for it!
On 07.06.10, In Relationships, By Derek
My son Sean has recently returned from USA after ten years study for his Ph.D. His site is called WorkLivePlay.org
On 07.06.10, In Site News, By Derek
BeLoveWise enters a new phase today, with Twitter feeds and Facebook status updates being automatically generated from this blog via Twitterfeed. Let’s hope it works!
On 06.16.10, In Relationships, By Derek
I was impressed by the book, “How The World Makes Love” by Franz Wisner.
Although taken from a different point of view and told with humour the author uses his personal experiences to show how all the world loves to love. Love however is more than an accident or a coincidence. Love grows from little things we share. Laughing at the same joke, enjoying a swim or a sunset together. I became aware that that I really liked my girlfriend (future wife) when a friend pointed out how vivacious she looked and then tried to muscle in. I snapped like a bulldog and claimed her as my own. 37 years later I still feel the same.
Just read another book called “This Is Not The Story You Think It Is… A Season of Unlikely Happiness” by Laura Munson. She details how her marriage went through a difficult time. Her husband said he wanted to leave but she persisted, giving him leeway and waiting through some absences to have him return and renew the marriage.
A lovely story of hope and patience rewarded due to her persistance and ability to forgive and compromise. A necessary part of any relationship.
On 05.25.10, In Relationships, By Derek
Your potential partner has agreed to a second date. How can you ensure that the relationship will continue? Naturally you will be excited and possibly nervous. Do not talk about yourself to the exclusion of the other person. It is common fault that we rattle on about ourselves and forget to ask relevent questions about the other person’s interests.
If you look at the questions in my book you will quickly be able to establish if this person has the potential that you require. Of course we are all different and have different tastes but there has to some common interests or there will not be a third date.
It may be that you both enjoy the same music or dancing. Perhaps you came from the same town and know people in common. But keep in mind that he/she will also be a little anxious and try to remain calm and show your interest in them and what they have to say.
Find out if they have a pet or like animals, what kind of foods they prefer or avoid, and especially what sort of family background they have. These seemingly innocuous questions provide valuable information you can compare with your own background.
Physical attraction while important initially is subservient to the overall psychological “fit” in the long term. Sexual attraction is what usually starts the relationship.
Becoming intimate means sharing your feelings honestly and really communicating on every level. It is not really necessary to have sex immediately. Have fun, enjoy simply being with each other, hold hands and make contact. You will soon know if your feelings are reciprocated.
On 02.06.10, In Relationships, By Derek
I am often asked about reviving a failed relationship. My advise is Do Not Go Back!
Examine what went wrong, if you do not know ask your friends. It is not necessarily your fault but simply that there are major differences that are hard or impossible to overcome. It is better to move on, regard it as a learning experience. Get back on the horse and continue riding. I know of no one who has not had a failed relationship at some time in their life.
Perhaps it is simply that the timing was not right for one or both of you. Timing – as well as compatibility is an essential part of any relationship. If you are under 21 years you can congratulate yourself for having the experience but not getting hooked.
On 01.08.10, In Relationships, By Derek
When you partner annoys you do not just walk away in a huff. Take a little time to calm down, think about the specifics of the annoyance. What in particular are you annoyed about. Did he/she leave their dirty socks in the bathroom? O.K. Do not call him a dirty slob. Just tell him what could be done better.
Do not bring up past grievances, or say he is just like his slob brother! Request politely but firmly what is your preference. if you can work through this difficulty your relationship will improve.
Always focus on the present unsettling behavior not on the person. Be prepared to make small compromises. perhaps there is something he does not like. It is good to assertive but focus on the behavior not on the person or relatives of the person. That only creates resentment.
Offer a cup of latte and a chat and let the matter rest.
Derek Rintel
After 40 years relationship counselling experience, I'm telling it like it is!
Download my eBook!
Don't leave love to chance. Smart love is great love!
My book is packed full of practical advice and an easy multiple choice relationship index that will help you find long-term love.
Follow me!
